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.Besides which, one who is at all intimatewith either family can not help feeling in some degree slighted when,on giving one s name, the usher looks for it in vain.Get any book for free on: www.Abika.com ETIQUETTE IN SOCIETY, IN BUSINESS, IN POLITICS AND AT HOME266on giving one s name, the usher looks for it in vain.55The second, and far better method, is to have a pew card sent,enclosed with the wedding invitation, or an inscribed visiting cardsent by either family.A guest who has a card with Pew No.12 onit, knows, and the usher knows, exactly where she is to go.Or if shehas a card saying Reserved or Before the ribbons or any specialmark that means in the reserved section but no especial pew, theusher puts her in the best position available behind the first two orthree numbered rows that are saved for the immediate family, and infront of the ribbons marking the reserved enclosure.56It is sometimes well for the head usher to ask the bride s mother ifshe is sure she has allowed enough pews in the reserved section toseat all those with cards.Arranging definite seat numbers has onedisadvantage; one pew may have every seat occupied and anothermay be almost empty.In that case an usher can, just before theprocession is to form, shift a certain few people out of the crowdedpews into the others.But it would be a breach of etiquette for peopleto re-seat themselves, and no one should be seated after the entranceof the bride s mother.57THE BRIDEGROOM WAITSMeanwhile, about fifteen minutes before the wedding hour, thegroom and his best man both in morning coats, top-hats,boutonnières and white buckskin (but remember not shiny) gloves,walk or drive to the church and enter the side door which leads to thevestry.There they sit, or in the clergyman s study, until the sexton oran usher comes to say that the bride has arrived.58THE PERFECTLY MANAGED WEDDINGAt a perfectly managed wedding, the bride arrives exactly oneminute (to give a last comer time to find place) after the hour.Two orthree servants have been sent to wait in the vestibule to help the brideand bridesmaids off with their wraps and hold them until they areneeded after the ceremony.The groom s mother and father also arewaiting in the vestibule.As the carriage of the bride s mother drivesup, an usher goes as quickly as he can to tell the groom, and anybrothers or sisters of the bride or groom, who are not to take part inthe wedding procession and have arrived in their mother s carriage,are now taken by ushers to their places in the front pews.Themoment the entire wedding party is at the church, the doors betweenthe vestibule and the church are closed.No one is seated after this,except the parents of the young couple.The proper procedure shouldbe carried out with military exactness, and is as follows:Get any book for free on: www.Abika.com ETIQUETTE IN SOCIETY, IN BUSINESS, IN POLITICS AND AT HOME267be carried out with military exactness, and is as follows:59The groom s mother goes down the aisle on the arm of the headusher and takes her place in the first pew on the right; the groom sfather follows alone, and takes his place beside her; the same usherreturns to the vestibule and immediately escorts the bride s mother;he should then have time to return to the vestibule and take his placein the procession.The beginning of the wedding march should soundjust as the usher returns to the head of the aisle.To repeat: No otherperson should be seated after the mother of the bride.Guests whoarrive later must stand in the vestibule or go into the gallery.60The sound of the music is also the cue for the clergyman to enter thechancel, followed by the groom and his best man.The two latter weargloves but have left their hats and sticks in the vestry-room
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