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.You don t even believe thecrap that s coming out of your mouth right now. It s not acceptable! his dad reiterated.Brandon twisted it and hit him back. I m not acceptable? No, his dad spit back. That s not what I m saying! Yeah it is. Brandon hit him with the reality. The only othertime you used that is when I signed up for the academy.That wasa choice.This ain t. Robert Carr had always drilled into Brandonand his stepbrothers that you don t make judgments about peoplebased on what they can t control skin color, disability didn tchange that they were human. So if it s not acceptable, thenneither am I.Too bad. Brandon pulled up the only shot he hadleft. So, Dad, you re still talking to me after I chose to be a cop.Defied you with something I could have walked away from.Ididn t choose this.I wouldn t change me, but I didn t decide justto piss you off to be on everyone s shit list because I like guys. Brandon Stop. Brandon held up both hands and backed away.Hewas done. Know what? I m going to give you the advice youalways gave me.Go sleep on it.See if you still feel the same waytomorrow. He turned on his heel and headed toward Nicky sride.His dad yelled at his back, Brandon, get back here! ALL OR NOTHING 329Although Brandon wanted to flip his dad off, he resisted.Instead he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans,lowered his head and stalked off to Nicky s hearse.Yeah, notterribly mature, but better than a family fight in a hospital parkinglot.When he got to Querida, Brandon just stood by the fenderand stared at the hood of the classic meat wagon.He couldn ttrust himself to move.He heard Nicky come up behind him. You okay? Nicky stouch drifted down Brandon s back.Brandon blew out a shit load of tension.Ten tons stillremained. You didn t say much. He wanted to pull that back inthe moment it passed his lips. You know what? Nicky swatted his ass before walking overto the driver side door. Getting between you and your dad atthat point He unlocked the door and slid onto the bench.After reaching over, popping the lock on the passenger side andwaiting for Brandon to clamber in, he finished the thought, Youwould have been pissed if I did. Nicky pulled his door shut.Brandon slammed the door. Maybe. Then he tried to findthe lap belt in the darkness.As Nicky slid the key into the ignition he finally commentedon the row. Wow, coming out with fireworks and all. Fuck, dude. The belt latch slid into place, punctuating hiscurses with a snap. Shit.I can t believe I told him. You did, Nicky sounded proud. And, I think he ll comearound.Edith ll lean on him.He just wasn t prepared for it, youknow. Brandon looked across the lot as Nicky backed the hearseout.He saw the headlights of the van flutter on.Edith wouldwork on his dad.And even if he never came around& it wasn tBrandon s problem.Two big hurdles in his life and one of themhe d managed to get over.Even if Brandon tripped and stumbledhis way through it. Well, at least that s one down. He stared atNicky across the dark interior.Nicky pulled out onto the street.Almost absently he asked, 330 James Buchanan One down what? Things I got to say. Brandon leaned against the door, hishand stretched across the bench seat. Look, Nicky. He brushedNicky s shoulder with his fingers. I m an idiot and a jerk and afucking asshole at times, but, fuck, Nicky, I need you.I need tobe with you. Waiting until they hit a red light, Nicky finally asked, Are youserious? Hell, yes. This was far easier and far scarier than theconfrontation with his dad. I ll quit the fucking force. Hewould.Brandon realized he d do damn near anything for Nicky. I ll move here if you want.Find a job& maybe Metro. Even ifit meant being a fucking rent-a-cop in a casino, Nicky was worthit. All this, after all this shit, you matter.I don t want to lose you,Nicky. I m the one with the job offer, Nicky reminded him. Youlove the force. You love the GCB, Brandon countered.Nicky smiled across the half lit interior.The light had turnedgreen, but he hadn t put the hearse into gear. I m not hating thesix figure offer they made me to move to So.Cal. Brandon squeezed Nicky s shoulder. Okay. Holy fuck, hewas saying yes, committing to Nicky.And it felt absolutely right. Okay.Let s go home. CHAPTER 33 Ah, Nick. Nick looked up from scanning the windows intoa room full of people he didn t know to find Dian standing infront of where he d parked himself on the lip of a planter. CanI talk to you for a moment? In a sea of relatives and volunteersthronging the cultural center, which once hosted the commandpost, Dian had found him.Considering Nick had bailed outsideto avoid the crush inside that meant she d sought him out.Intentionally.They d basically taken over both meeting rooms and a gooddeal of the enclosed garden areas.With the help of a couple ofpolice organizations, the group that the rabbi was part of and thelocal alliance they d scrabbled together a hasty thank you to thecommunity and cops for their efforts.Pizza, egg rolls, cookies,coffee& wasn t a posh reception, but donated food and Dr.Carr swallet did the trick.From what Brandon said, it was more thanksthan most people ever gave the police or volunteers.Why would Brandon s ex-wife want to talk with him? Yeah,I guess, he stuttered.She took a deep breath, I wanted to give you something. Holding it with one hand on the spine, Dian offered out anoversized paperback. I got it years ago, in case I ever needed totalk to Shayna about her father and what he does. She wiggledthe book a little, like she tried to get him to take it. I had mysister grab it when she took the boys by our house to get moreclothes before they came down. Suspicious, given their prior interactions, Nick took the book.A simple cover of a blue uniform shirt and black tie was overwritten by white lettering.Nick read the title out loud. I Love aCop. Not quite sure why Dian would give him anything, muchless that book, he probed. What s this? It s a book about living with someone in law enforcement,how to cope. Massaging one hand with the other, she tried for 332 James Buchanana smile. Think of it as a peace offering. She took another deepbreath. Look, I want& no, I need to apologize for some of thethings I said to you. Nick slapped the book against his palm.With everything thathad happened he wasn t really sure that he shouldn t just hand thebook back.But, Brandon s ex-wife was about as close as he d everenvisioned to having in-laws, so he took the high road. Don tworry about it. Thank you for saying that, Dian settled onto the planternext to him, but I am so sorry. After rubbing her hands a whilelonger, she dropped them both into her lap. I didn t mean toattack you like that. She glanced off toward the park like sheneeded to collect her thoughts.Then she turned back to Nick. Isaid very hateful and very personal things and I didn t even reallyknow you. Well, we were all a bit stressed. Okay, it didn t seem justfor show, Dian appeared to really want to apologize. I had mymoments, too. She offered him a rueful smile. That I pushed you into. Ahh, Nick shrugged, you had a big ugly mess going on. He let the thought trail off.What else could he say to her? Whatshe d hit him with really wasn t forgivable, if she believed it
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