[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.No one had any idea where he was, ifhe was ever coming back, or whether he was dead or alive.Sally said shefelt totally abandoned, lost and frightened.This experience had "imprinted"itself in Sally's emotional life, and now she had this same feeling when shewas away from her son.If I had simply changed the way she thought of her son, only that oneisolated experience would be changed.She would still be left with herunpleasant childhood memory, and it is likely that this memory also caused28 Healing Traumas 29other difficulties in her life.If I can change the childhood memory, then allthe experiences that it affects will also be changed.By doing this, I can giveher the change that she is asking for, and many other additional benefitsas well.How Sally Sees a Positive Imprint ExperienceThe first step is to find out how Sally thinks of a powerful positivememory that also strongly affects her behavior.These impactful experiencesare often called "imprint" experiences."Sally, I want you to think of amemory that is a really positive resource for you now.It might have beenpleasant or unpleasant at the time it occurred, but somehow you learnedsomething that made that memory have a powerful and positive impact onyour actions in the present.It doesn't matter what it is, as long as youexperience it as powerful and positive now.When you have selectedone, I want you to think of that memory the way you think of it when ithas that powerful impact on you.Notice how you experience it"When Sally went back to the memory she had selected, she smiled,her breathing deepened, and her back straightened a bit.Clearly this wasexactly the kind of powerful memory I wanted her to find."Now, Sally, I want you to think of an ordinary memory that is oflittle consequence.It could be brushing your teeth this morning, putting onyour clothes, or anything like that"Next I want you to compare those two memories.As you comparethem, you can notice the differences that make one powerful and the otherordinary.For instance, one might be a movie while the other is a stillpicture.One might be in color while the other is black and white.Onemight have sound, while the other is silent.""The ordinary one is small and still, like a black-and-white snapshotThe powerful one is all around me, like I'm actually there in it.It's movingand the colors are very soft pastels like a Monet painting; I love them.Andthere's a pleasant sound.There's no sound in the ordinary one."Creating a New Positive Imprint"Now I want you to set those experiences aside temporarily, while Iask you a very important question.What experience could you have hadbefore your father's disappearance that would have made it much easier foryou to go through his disappearance? What specific experience could haveprepared you for it, so that you didn't need to feel those awful feelings ofbeing lost and abandoned?""My father was everything to me at that time.I think if someone I 30 HEART OF THE MINDtrusted had told me that he would always be there and protect me no matterwhat else happened, that would have made it much easier maybe if mybrother had said that to me.""Good.That's certainly the kind of thing that can make a bigdifference, so let's try it.Close you eyes and go back to being six or sevenyears old, well before your father left.Build a detailed experience of yourbrother talking to you and reassuring you.As you do that, be sure to makethat experience just like the positive powerful memory you recalled earlier.Build this new experience so that it's all around you, moving, with sound,and with those soft pastel colors that you love so much.You can keeprevising and adjusting that experience as much as you like, in order to makeit the kind of memory that will allow you to respond resourcefully to yourfather's unexpected absence later.Take all the time you need, and nod yourhead when you have finished building it to your satisfaction.".As Sally began to build this new memory, her breathing deepened, shesmiled, and her back straightened in the same way as when she recalled theoriginal positive memory.This let me know that Sally's new memory wouldbe an equally powerful resource.After about a minute, she nodded.Using the New Imprint for a Powerful Change"Next I want you to come rapidly forward through time, bringing theimpact of this positive experience with your brother along with you.As youmove forward through time, you can notice how all your later experiencesare shifted and reevaluated in the light of that experience with your brother.Realizing that much of this will happen at an unconscious level, comerapidly up through time.When you reach the present, stop and see yourselfmoving on into the future, seeing how you will be different as a result ofthis experience with your brother.Again, take all the time you need, andopen your eyes when you're done.".After about a minute, Sally opened her eyes."That was interesting,"she said."Coming forward in time was sort of like that part at the end ofthe movie 2001 where all the stuff is shooting past on both sides.WhenI came to the time when my father left, I just sort of sailed through it.And when I think about it now, it's very different.I was still concerned,but I knew my brother would be there.I feel bigger, somehow; I feel morepowerful.""That all sounds good.Now think about your son, and find out howyou feel."."I feel fine now.He doesn't seem so far way any more.I even triedmaking that small, dim, far-away picture, but it doesn't affect me." Healing Traumas 31This process took approximately fifteen minutes.The next day Sallytold me that she had called her son the previous evening and she had feltfine.The anxiety had not returned.Although I have been unable to reach Sally for long-term follow-up,I know from using this method with many other people that the resultsusually last, and sometimes even become more powerful over time.Sexual ResponseBeverly was unhappy with what she called her "phobia of sex" andreluctance to get involved with a man
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]